Tag Archives: Collette

I got home late last night and dumped my stuff in the hall. I had been following the Blackhawks’ Game 7 via Twitter and wanted to watch the final period live. As usual, I walked through the mostly dark house to grab some water in the kitchen.

When I walked back through the dining room (the center of my main floor – you have to walk through it to get to any other room), I finally turned on the light. And then I saw the cat puke.

It wasn’t a huge deal, as the cat does occasionally hairball, especially as she sheds her winter coat. And she has a knack for doing so on the dining room rug, just inches from the much-easier-to-clean hardwood.

I grabbed a couple paper towels and the pet stain spray, knelt down, and recoiled in horror.

There were scores – nay, HUNDREDS – of ants crawling in the puke pile. Beyond the pile, the conga line of ants extended at least 3 or 4 feet into my home office.

I had seen a couple scout ants over the weekend and made a mental note to put down traps and shake some of the powder outside, if it ever stops raining. (I’ve been down this road before.) But this meant war.

I corralled the cat and locked her safely into the upstairs portion of the house. Then I went to work, killing the conga line mid-step and scrubbing away all the evidence. I sprayed a bit between the back door and its storm door, and as soon as it stops raining and dries out, I’ll go hunt for a hill in the backyard.

But when I laid down to sleep, I kept picturing the swarm, pulsing and undulating across my dining room. Shudder. I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.

This morning, there was no evidence of the ants. I’m pretty good about keeping food wrapped up, and they seem to mostly ignore the cat food. Hopefully with some vigilance and the right outdoor chemicals, there won’t be a repeat.

I have more ants. Last weekend’s attempted destruction of the giant ant hill and its satellite barely slowed them down – they’ve rebuilt in full, and I daresay they’re even bigger. Last night, I spied a handful of ants in the dining room, along the baseboards, carrying a crumb of food. I discovered my can of ant spray was empty, so I Windexed them to death.

This morning, while brushing my teeth, I looked down into the backyard from the guest room and could plainly see the larger ant hill from my window.

This means war.

I went to Home Depot and bought weapons for a triple-pronged approach: good old-fashioned spray (“kills on contact!”), bait traps and some powdered poison that supposedly will take out the hills once and for all. Hopefully tomorrow will be rain-free so I can bait the hills.

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Update Sunday afternoon: While getting ready to head upstairs for the night, I noticed a moving black crumb on the kitchen floor. It was a mass of ants – easily 20 of the little buggers – who had united to hoist a piece of catfood and carry it back to their lair. Now, Collette’s not always the tidiest eater – she often drops a piece or two of food to the floor right outside her bowl – but this was a good 3-4 feet away. Such power!

We sprung into action, first locking the curious cat upstairs, away from the pending poison, along with her food and water bowls. We sprayed all the kitchen and dining room baseboards with the new ant spray, laid down bait traps under the fridge and stove, and called it a night.

Sometimes, I come into the kitchen and find Collette sitting on the floor, staring up at the exhaust fan/vent with rapt fascination.

The old-fashioned Air King seems to elicit the same response among my friends: “My grandma has that same fan in her kitchen!”

I’ve never used it all that much, since I’ve never previously had an exhaust fan. Really, I only flip it on when the smoke detector (the one too close to the stove) goes off.

But increasingly over the past couple weeks, Collette’s interest has been piqued by rustling and rattling coming from within the fan. My guess is that some critter is trying to build a nest in the vent part that protrudes outside. I went out to investigate it a couple weekends ago, but learned just how high up it is – I didn’t think about my house effectively sitting half a story above ground level. At the time, the ground was much too icy to consider safely using my ladder to climb up and have a look. Now, the ground’s too soft and muddy – I don’t think I could stabilize the ladder sufficiently to be safe.

Too bad I can’t just send Collette up there. I’m sure she’d take care of the uninvited guest, lickity-split.