Letting Go to Go Forward

Today’s #reverb10 prompt has a very easy answer, and a much less apparent answer:

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

A year ago, I was planning a July wedding, which I called off in February. I ended the relationship entirely a couple months later.

But that’s too simplistic. Thinking it through, 2010 was not just the year I woke up, it was the year I let go of my preconceived notions of myself.

Growing up, I was always the fat kid, the bookworm who had no athletic talent – or desire to do anything active. The klutz who lead all the academic and nerdy teams and clubs in high school. It suited me. And I thought it was who I would always be.

But nearly two years ago, when I started my new healthier lifestyle, I shifted that paradigm. As I got lighter and stronger, I got braver. I found a new confidence I’d never known before. It was exciting. Exhilarating.

As I rounded the corner into 2010, I started leveraging that confidence and realized I didn’t need to conform to the stereotypes I had established for myself half a lifetime ago. I truly could be anyone I wanted to be, including a runner, a grad student, a neighborhood leader, all titles I lacked a year ago.

And while I didn’t pick up the Mrs. I had planned to this year, I’m very satisfied with how things have turned out. By letting go of my teenage concept of self, I’ve finally started to grow up into an even better version. Letting go has empowered me to go forward to bigger and better things.

This post is part of #Reverb10, a month-long project to reflect on the year nearly gone. Read all my #Reverb10 posts, or learn more.